


Paternity Redux - A Heart Divided

by justanotherbookworm78



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Car Accidents, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Episode: s09e09 Paternity, F/M, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:35:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27572434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanotherbookworm78/pseuds/justanotherbookworm78
Summary: This one is pretty self-explanatory. Written as part of a challenge brought up in a Twitter group chat that called to mind the question "What would happen if the events of Paternity played out differently"? This is my version. Check out others by EORocks, WriterKC, FragileVixenFic, MrsWellRested, Liv Einziger , chriskapeach, GallifreyGod, and AlexisDawn. #PaternityRedux
Collections: SVU_Paternity_Redux





	Paternity Redux - A Heart Divided

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This one shot was part of a writing challenge I participated in when a group chat I'm part of on Twitter was discussing the episode and pointing out all the different ways it could have gone. So, we each decided to do our own version. Here is mine. After you read this, please check out the others, written by EORocks, WriterKC, FragileVixenFic, MrsWellRested, Liv Einziger , chriskapeach, GallifreyGod, and AlexisDawn. #PaternityRedux

**Disclaimer: SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. I own nothing. Quotes that are in italics and are underlined are taken directly from the show, and not my own dialogue.**

* * *

Elliot Stabler's mind was in turmoil, just as it had been all day. Ever since the case they had been working on had revealed a startling truth, his mind had been working overtime. It had all begun a few days ago when a simple DNA test that Warner had conducted solely for the methods of exclusion had revealed that a child and father were not biologically related.

The man in question, Jake Keegan, had always believed that Tommy was his son. His wife, Leah, had had another relationship the entire time, since even before they were married. The truth only came to light when Tommy's nanny had been found murdered, and the boy had fled their home in fear. When he'd been found wandering the streets alone, covered in blood, SVU had been called in on the case.

It had taken time to track down Tommy's family. In fact, there was a brief period when Elliot had even taken the boy to his own home for a bath, change of clothes, and something to eat. The young child had developed an attachment to him from the very beginning, and refused to let him out of his sight. Once his father was found, alarm bells went off when they realized that his mother should have been with him. Elliot and Olivia had accompanied Jake Keegan to his home, where they found the nanny, Jodie, dead in the master bedroom. A short time later, Jake's wife Leah, was found in a motel with her boyfriend, Matt.

Revealing the fact that he wasn't Tommy's biological father to Jake hadn't been intentional. Elliot and Olivia had been fighting about the subject at the precinct, and the man had overhead. Naturally, he'd been devastated. In turn, it had caused a lot of doubt to grow in Elliot's own mind.

After a nearly two year separation with his wife that had been on the brink of divorce, she'd asked him to stay one night when he'd gone to the family home needing to see the kids after a particularly difficult case. A couple months later, Kathy had come to see him at work, and dropped a bombshell on him – she was pregnant. Moreover, she was asking him to move back home. She couldn't and didn't want to manage a pregnancy and raising of another child alone.

Just as he had when she had gotten pregnant with their firstborn all those years ago, he'd done the right thing. Now though, especially in light of the events of their most recent case, doubt was crashing in on him from all sides. He hated himself for it, but he just couldn't seem to help it. Last night, he had practically interrogated his own wife as to the paternity of their child when all she was trying to do was ask for a ride to her doctor's appointment.

Now, he was on his way upstate in a race against time to try and save Jake Keegan from committing suicide – but only so he could arrest the man for the murder of his wife, Leah. They had found the woman less than an hour ago, not long after Jake had dropped Tommy off at the station. With Olivia by his side, Elliot had raced to the Keegan residence, where they found Leah's body. It hadn't taken them long to realize that the intention was for a murder-suicide. After a quick glance at some photos on the mantle, Elliot figured that Jake was going to the lake house he had mentioned previously. He had been about to head up there himself when something Olivia said brought him back to reality.

" _What about Kathy's appointment_?"

Feeling like the worst husband ever, not to mention a huge asshole, he admitted his sin to his partner.

" _I forgot_."

With her next words, Olivia not only absolved him of his sins, but reminded him exactly why she was his best friend. He told himself yet again that he didn't deserve her.

" _I'll take her._ "

They left the Keegan residence, and headed their separate ways. Elliot took a helicopter upstate to the lake house, dialing the local sheriff's office on the way there to alert them. He hoped the heads up would be enough of a warning to save Jake Keegan's life. With the remaining thoughts in his mind, he hoped that his wife would forgive him for not taking her to the appointment.

Elliot had just finished talking with Jake Keegan, getting the man's confession, when his phone rang. He thought about ignoring it, but noticed that Olivia was the one calling. Figuring it was important, he answered.

" _Is Jake Keegan in custody_?"

Despite everything else going on, he had to smile. Even now, Olivia was still focused on their case.

" _Yeah. You get Kathy_?"

" _Picked her up right on time_ "

The next thing Elliot heard was his wife's voice come over the line. He was surprised at first, then remembered Olivia always had her phone on speaker when she drove.

" _Unlike some people_ "

He wanted to believe Kathy was teasing him, but after their interaction the night before, he couldn't be certain. He definitely deserved her anger, he reasoned.

" _Yeah...okay...well, call me, tell me what the doctor says, okay_?"

Kathy answered him.

" _I will. Love you_."

" _Love you too. Liv? Thanks_."

" _No problem_."

He was just about to hang up, was lowering the phone from his ear, when he heard a sound that made time stop. There was the screeching of tires, followed by the unmistakable sound of crunching metal and shattering glass. Then silence. With his heart in his throat, he called out desperately to the two women on the other end to whom he'd just been talking with – his wife, and his partner.

"Liv! Kathy! Someone answer me!"

* * *

Clutching the phone as if it were a lifeline, Elliot held his breath as he waited for an answer. He got none. With trembling hands, he disconnected the call and tried to dial again. All he heard was a series of three short beeps. Whatever had happened, must have caused damage to Olivia's phone.

Not wasting any time, his next phone call was to his Captain. Thankfully, his superior answered on the first ring.

"Special Victims Unit, Cap-"

He didn't bother letting him finish his greeting, but got straight to the point.

"Cap! It's Elliot. I need you to put a trace on Olivia's phone. I was just talking with her as she was driving Kathy to her appointment, and I think they were involved in an accident. I don't know where they are, and I can't get through to her cell."

"I'm on it, Elliot. Do you have transportation back here? I don't want you driving right now."

Elliot explained that the helicopter he'd flown upstate in was standing by for the return trip. He had a ride from the sheriff's office to the helipad, and just needed someone to pick him up once he got to the city.

"I'll have either Fin or Munch waiting for you with a car when you get here."

They hung up, and without even setting down the receiver, Cragen began making the necessary calls to put a trace on Olivia's phone. Even if it was no longer in working order, there was a chance it could still be tracked. Knowing what was at stake, TARU worked quickly, and had a location within seconds. Cragen raced out of the squad room to his car, already on the radio with the fire department and an ambulance on his way.

When he arrived on the scene of the accident, Don Cragen couldn't believe his eyes. EMS had beat him there, and were trying to administer care to the occupants of the vehicles, which had apparently hit one another in a head on collision.

Kathy Stabler was still trapped, and though conscious, obviously frightened. To make matters worse, the trauma from the accident had triggered an early labor. She was calling out for Olivia, afraid to be alone.

Cragen scanned the area, looking for his detective. He found her, being treated by medics a short distance away. There was blood streaming down the side of her face from a gash on her temple, and multiple deep scratches on her arms. He couldn't figure out how she had gotten out of the car, and could only reason that she must have broken the glass and crawled out, a dangerous and risky move in itself. What he saw next made his jaw drop.

"I'm right here Kathy! I'm coming!"

Olivia stood up, fighting against the arms that tried to hold her back. With one hand, she ripped the collar from her neck, then tore the IV line from her arm. Before anyone could even grab hold of her to secure her once again to resume treatment, she was off and running to her mangled car, crawling back through the drivers side window.

Cragen ran over to the car, trying to stay out of the way from the other emergency personnel. Leaning into the window, he spoke to his detective.

"Olivia, what the hell are you doing?"

"She's my partner's wife. I'm not letting her out of my sight."

Cragen understood the driving force behind Olivia's desperation, but he was also worried about her own health and well being.

"I get what you're saying, but you're hurt, too. You have to let them take care of you. I'll stay with Kathy."

The response he heard nearly broke his heart.

"It doesn't matter what happens to me. What's important is that they save Elliot's wife and child."

Cragen felt as one of the fireman started to pull him away. Though he wanted to argue, he knew better than to resist. He'd just have to try and reason with Olivia again once they got the roof off of the car.

The ringing of his phone startled him, and he noticed that it was Elliot calling. Quickly answering, he tried his best to calm the man on the other end of the line, but it wasn't an easy task. He was clearly terrified for the lives of everyone who had been in that car. Knowing what would help reassure him more than anything he could possibly say, Cragen rushed the phone to Olivia, and passed it to her through the open window.

Instead of talking to her partner herself, though, and letting him know that she was in fact alive and well, Olivia put the phone on speaker and let Kathy take the call. She knew the woman needed to hear her husband's voice.

The conversation had been an emotional one, Kathy struggling to stay brave through it all. Elliot had promised to meet them at the hospital, and begged his wife to hang on. He'd been too terrified to ask anything about Olivia in the moment, the only brief consolation he'd gotten had been when Kathy had said that Olivia was 'taking good care of her'. He clung to those words, used them to try and convince himself that while they were still trying to get Kathy out of the car, and despite the fact she was in labor, his partner hadn't been harmed. Even though he couldn't be with her himself, Kathy wasn't alone. There wasn't anyone he trusted her with more than Olivia.

Once the phone call was over, the fireman were ready. They worked quickly to get the roof off the car, and once that was done, helped Olivia out of the vehicle. Paramedics were back at her side in an instant, trying to get her back to a stretcher. She fought them off again, and insisted on being brought the form that indicated she was refusing treatment. Cragen was ready to step in, and overrule his detectives wishes, when Kathy had another contraction. Instead, he offered a compromise – Olivia would go in the ambulance with Kathy to the hospital, and get checked out there. His tone made it clear it was not open to negotiation.

As Kathy was loaded on the stretcher, Olivia climbed into the back of the ambulance by her side. She faltered slightly as a dizzy spell hit her, but managed to hide it well. Cragen got in his car, so he could follow behind. As soon as the doors to the ambulance closed, they were on the way to the hospital.

* * *

Elliot burst through the doors of the hospital. He wasn't even sure if he had waited for Fin to bring the car to a complete stop before jumping out. Right now, he didn't even care. Scanning the crowded emergency room for any sign of a familiar face, he finally found one. His heart sank when it was none of the ones he'd been hoping for.

Instead of his partner or his wife, it was his Captain who he spotted standing at the far end of the emergency room. Elliot didn't find it strange to see Cragen – he had called him, after all – but he had been hoping to have Olivia or Kathy meet him. Wondering just where his partner and wife could be, he walked in that direction.

When he was only a few footsteps away from his superior officer, Elliot watched as the man turned slightly. That is when he noticed what he hadn't before – the baby being cradled in his arms. Why would Cragen be holding a baby? Could it have to do with a case? As the harsh reality sunk in, the blood in Elliot's veins turned to ice. Cragen was holding _his_ child. That meant that Kathy – and Olivia – couldn't. Something was very seriously wrong.

"Cap"

Elliot tried to find the words, but his voice got caught in his throat. He hoped his expression conveyed everything he was trying to say and couldn't. He hoped his Captain wouldn't give him 'the look' – the look they gave to families when they had news to deliver that no one wanted to hear. He didn't think he could bear it. Not now, when his guilt was already so insurmountable he didn't think he'd ever forgive himself.

"They're alive, Elliot. They're hurt, but they're alive."

At hearing the news, Elliot released the breath that he hadn't even realized he'd been holding. The words were like music to his ears. Although there was so much more he wanted to know - needed to know - he couldn't help but reach out for the small bundle in Cragen's arms. Perhaps it was because he needed to feel that deeper connection.

"Is that -"

"This is your son. He's early, but he's healthy. The doctors have already examined him, and said it was all right if I watched over him until you could meet him."

Cragen placed the sleeping baby into his detective's waiting arms. That was the moment that Elliot broke. He hadn't even heard the conditions of his wife and partner yet, but it was in holding his son that he truly comprehended the fragility of life and how everything could have gone so very wrong today. He could have lost it all.

A nurse came by not long after, needing to take the baby up to the nursery. Reluctantly, Elliot let him go, knowing he was in good hands. Plus, now that he knew his son was being taken care of, that meant he could focus all of his attention on the two women in his life that were currently fighting for theirs.

In desperate need of answers, he turned to the man who was more than just his boss. Knowing that Cragen would tell him the truth, and not leave anything out, he asked for the details of what had happened in his absence.

"The other driver was drunk. Olivia was stopped at a red light when he came blowing through the intersection from the opposite direction. Hit their car head on."

Staggering, Elliot managed to make his way over to one of the chairs in the hallway and collapsed into it. So that was what he'd heard. He still wasn't certain if he'd ever get the sound of shattering glass and crunching metal out of his head. It was a permanent part of him now, a consistent ringing in his ears. That wasn't enough, though. Believing that part of his penance was to have every last detail of the accident embedded in his mind in horrific technicolor, he pressed his Captain to continue.

"When I got on scene, Kathy was still pinned in the car. Olivia was being treated by paramedics, though for the life of me, I still don't know how she managed to crawl out of the wreckage."

At this point, Elliot couldn't help but interrupt.

"Wait a minute – Olivia was out of the car and being treated when you got there? When I talked to Kathy on the phone, she said Olivia was taking care of her! Is it possible she hallucinated? Oh God - just how bad was my wife hurt?"

Cragen put a hand on Elliot's shoulder, easing him back into his chair. The news he was about to deliver certainly wasn't going to soothe the man. If anything, it would only serve to increase his anxieties.

"Kathy wasn't hallucinating. Not long after I got there, Olivia ripped off her cervical collar and removed her IV. She ran back to the car and crawled back inside."

Elliot just stared at his Captain blankly, unwilling to accept what he was being told.

"She refused treatment, son."

Clearly in denial, and a great deal of shock from everything that had occurred that day, Elliot shook his head. His partner wouldn't do that. She knew better - no, she didn't. Not when it came to her own well being over that of someone else. As reality settled in, he knew that when it came down to it, Olivia's guilt would have been just as great – if not greater – than his own. Even though she wasn't at fault for the accident, she likely held herself responsible. No matter what the risk to herself, she would have done whatever it took to keep his wife and child safe. The thought equally humbled and terrified him.

"Tell me the rest, Cap"

His voice was hoarse as he leaned forward, elbows on his knees and his head buried in his hands. He listened, feeling his stomach churn as he heard the rest of the story of the surreal turn his day had taken. When the Captain began relaying the tale he'd heard from paramedics of how Olivia had coached Kathy through labor in the back of the ambulance, and been the one to witness the birth of his son, his heart swelled. With the next sentence, it shattered once more.

"Kathy's blood pressure dropped immediately after giving birth. The trauma from the accident and premature labor were too much for her body to withstand. They worked on her once they got her to the hospital though, and her vitals have stabilized."

That was a good thing to hear, but something was missing – there was something his boss wasn't telling him. Feeling his own blood pressure change yet again, he looked to the older man sitting next to him, desperate for answers.

"The doctors tried everything, but they couldn't get the bleeding to stop. They had to take Kathy up to surgery to perform an emergency hysterectomy. I'm sorry, Elliot."

As long as the mother of his children was alive, he didn't care. With this newest addition, they had five kids. Yes, he knew the news would be hard for her to accept, especially happening in such an abrupt way, but they would deal with it. Saying another prayer – one of several he had said that day – Elliot prayed that the surgeons taking care of his wife would heal her and return her to their children.

Now that he'd gotten an update on Kathy, Elliot focused his attentions on Olivia. He'd not once forgotten about her through all this, she'd always been on his mind. He just knew that she'd kick his ass if he so much as hinted at putting her before his family.

Taking a deep breath, Elliot steeled himself for the next round of news he was about to hear. Though her injuries were serious, he was confident Kathy would recover. Certainly that meant Olivia would, too, right?

"Captain, what about Liv? What room is she in? Can I see her?"

* * *

Mere moments after he had asked the question about his partner, Cragen's mouth set in a grim line. Elliot felt his heart sink to the pit of his stomach and a fine bead of perspiration break out on his forehead. While it wasn't quite _the look_ that his Captain was regarding him with, it was damn close. When he asked the words a second time, his voice was barely a whisper.

"Cap, what about Liv?"

"She held your son and kept him warm until the ambulance pulled up at the hospital. She didn't even want to give him up to a nurse, insisting that she was fine. They told her they needed to check the baby out, so she reluctantly let go. Seconds later she collapsed."

It was back again – the cacophony in his ears, in his mind. Elliot shook his head, but he couldn't free himself from the relentless echoes that continued to haunt him. Somewhere beyond the din, he heard his Captain's voice continuing to explain. He heard words he knew, but didn't want to acknowledge or comprehend. Something about severe head trauma and internal bleeding; unresponsiveness and surgery. Where he had been so optimistic telling him about Kathy's condition, now Cragen was guarded and hesitant. Elliot's thoughts ran wild with the frightening possibilities. Did they expect Olivia to die? What had she sacrificed at the expense of saving his family?

He couldn't be here. Elliot knew it was what he was expected to do - to sit here and wait quietly for news, but he just couldn't do that. He was torn between going outside and pummeling the exterior brick walls of the hospital with his fists, or going to the chapel. Figuring that breaking his knuckles wouldn't help anyone out, save for providing an outlet for his frustrations, he opted for the latter.

"I can't just sit here and do nothing. If you need me, I'll be in the chapel."

"Elliot -"

Cragen tried to get through to his Detective, but the other man couldn't be consoled. Unable to speak, he just held up his palms and shook his head as he walked away.

Minutes later, Elliot walked into the hospital's chapel, grateful that the room was empty. Even though this was one area where people were people were typically left at peace, he had no desire to make small talk with anyone.

Before taking a seat, he went to where several rows of candles were placed so he could light some. This was something he didn't even have to think about. Three candles – one for Kathy, one for Olivia, and one for his son. Once they were lit, and the flames were dancing in front of his eyes, he took a step back toward the pews.

Elliot collapsed onto the wooden bench, letting it absorb his weight, wishing that the heavy burden on his soul could be lifted as easily. Growing up Catholic, prayer had been a constant in his life. While it was true that he had faltered several times with his faith when it came to what he dealt with on the job, never before had he struggled like this. There had always been an order to his prayers – his family, the victims, the world, and and last but not least, himself.

Now, he had so much to ask for, and while it may seem like it was for his own selfish needs, it was to ask God to spare the lives of the two women he cared about more than anything. But how could he even begin to bargain for one life over the other? Why did he feel like he was being made to choose who was more important? Never before had his heart been so divided. Closing his eyes, he began to pray.

"God, I won't even pretend to understand your reasoning for what happened today. All I will say is this – please, don't take them away from me. Kathy is a wonderful mother, and our children need her."

He paused only long enough to keep from breaking down, then continued.

"As for Olivia, you can't take her either. She saved the life of my wife and son, even though she was severely hurt herself. That's not even counting what she does every day to help the people we meet at work. She's meant to do this job – and the victims, the survivors, they all depend on her."

No longer fighting to hold back the tears that were welling in his eyes, Elliot made his heartfelt plea.

"If you have to take someone, God, take me. It's my fault anyway. I should have been the one driving the car – I was just too selfish and too lost in my own damn head to realize what I was doing. Whatever you do, please don't take either of the women that I love. I don't think I could bear it."

Emotionally spent, he remained in the chapel for several more minutes before retracing his steps to find Cragen. When he returned to the waiting room, he found that Fin and Munch had joined their Captain in the vigil. In addition, someone had gone to get his children, and informed them what was going on. As he let himself be embraced by all four of his kids at once, Elliot felt the first semblance of calm since he'd overhead the accident over the phone earlier that day.

No sooner had everyone found seats again and gotten themselves settled, a doctor came out to speak to their group. Initially, the man had gone to Cragen, as it was whom he had first spoken to, but the Captain deferred to Elliot, explaining that he was Kathy's husband.

With his kids hovering around him, Elliot listened as the doctor explained. Though the excessive bleeding and dangerous drop in vitals had given them all a scare, Kathy had done remarkably well in surgery. She had needed to receive a couple of blood transfusions in order to help her stabilize, but was expected to make a full recovery. After spending some time being monitored, she would be transferred to a room, where her family would be allowed to visit. Apparently, she had already asked about the baby during her brief moments of consciousness.

A collective sigh of relief was exhaled among the group upon hearing the news that Kathy had pulled through. Still, they all bore expressions of worry. They had yet to hear any word on Olivia. Though no one spoke, it was obvious they were all hoping that their colleague would be just as fortunate with her surgery as Kathy had been.

* * *

Two hours later, just as Elliot and the kids were given the all clear to visit Kathy in her private room, a second doctor approached. Elliot told his kids to go on upstairs to see their mother, but they remained behind. They wanted to know how Olivia was, too.

Once the doctor had confirmed Elliot's identity, and been given permission to speak freely, the woman began to relay the information regarding Olivia's condition.

"Detective Benson made it through surgery, and is currently in recovery. We had to remove her spleen, as it had ruptured, and that was what was causing the internal bleeding."

Elliot wasn't ready to breathe a sigh of relief quite yet. There were still Olivia's head injuries to consider. Plus, the doctor hadn't mentioned anything about how serious the blood loss had been, and if delay of treatment had caused any lasting damage. He listened intently as the doctor continued.

"While we were initially worried about her head injuries and resulting loss of consciousness, the resulting scans showed no bleeding on the brain. She does, however, have a serious concussion, but that is treatable."

Now that he'd gotten all the necessary information, and knew his partner would survive, Elliot wanted to see her with his own two eyes. He didn't know how he'd ever begin to find the words to thank her for everything she'd done for him today, not when part of him still wanted to scold her for being so careless with her own well being.

"When can I see her?"

"She'll be moved to a room in intensive care shortly. We don't think she'll have to stay in ICU long, but given the nature of her surgery and other injuries, she's at higher risk for infection. You won't be able to stay long, but under the circumstances, we can allow a brief visit."

Elliot shook the woman's hand, then turned to his children. He would take them to see their mother, knowing that Cragen would call him when his ability to visit Olivia had been given the all clear. At the request of his kids, they made a brief detour to the gift shop on their way upstairs, to buy something for Kathy. A gift for Olivia would have to wait until she was in a regular room.

Once they reached the maternity floor, the four Stabler children let their father go in and see their mother alone for a few minutes. Instead, they hovered around the nursery window, looking in on their brand new baby brother.

Elliot entered his wife's room carefully, hesitant to disturb her if she were sleeping. She stirred slightly in the bed, then turned her head in the direction of the sound. When she saw him, her expression was wistful. Like everything else today, witnessing her pain firsthand hit him directly in the gut. He knew now that she'd already been made aware of the outcome of her injuries, in addition to the surgery that she'd needed in order to survive.

As he stepped closer to the bed, he took careful stock of Kathy's appearance. Miraculously, she seemed to have been spared a lot of injuries from the brunt of the impact. The airbag must have done its job. Yes, there were a few superficial scratches here and there, likely from broken glass, but if he hadn't known she'd just gone through a major surgery, she wouldn't look any worse for the wear.

Elliot went to press a kiss on his wife's forehead, but was stunned when she pulled her head away, refusing his gesture of affection. Hurt, but trying to be understanding, he attempted to speak.

"Kath -"

"No, Elliot. You don't get to say anything. You weren't there! You weren't there!"

He didn't argue with her. She was right, after all. Plus he didn't want her getting more upset than she already was. He knew it couldn't be healthy, and wanted to do his best to keep her calm. But he also knew that telling her to calm down right now would be the equivalent of throwing gasoline on a fire, and only serve to make her more upset. So instead, he tried something else.

"You're right, I wasn't there. You'll never know how much I will regret that for the rest of my life. But I don't want you making yourself upset. Later, if you want, you can yell at me as much as you'd like. Heaven knows I deserve it."

Kathy sank back against the pillows, her short outburst already taking its toll on her. Then, as if something had only just occurred to her, she shot up again, gripping her lower abdomen as she pulled the incision from her surgery.

"The baby? Where's the baby? I want to see him!"

Gently easing his wife back into the bed, he tried his best to soothe her. He could have sworn the doctors had said they'd told her that the baby was fine, but its possible that with the grogginess from the anesthesia, she may have forgotten.

"The baby is fine. He's in the nursery right now, the kids are watching him through the window. He's beautiful."

Kathy's expression morphed from anger to one of wonder.

"You've seen him?"

Now, Elliot couldn't keep the proud father smile off his face.

"Got to hold him, too. Cragen gave him to me as soon as I came into the emergency room."

He didn't know what he'd said, but something clearly told him he'd just said the worst possible thing. Yet again, it seemed that Kathy was angry. Elliot was beginning to think that all these sudden mood changes were attributed to the abrupt hormonal changes his wife had been through that day, in addition to delayed reactions from the trauma she had endured. However, her next outburst wasn't anything like what he was expecting.

* * *

By the worst coincidence ever, his phone happened to ring just as his wife was railing at him about Olivia. How she had been so wrong about his partner – thinking that she cared, when in truth, she was the most selfish woman who ever lived. It appeared Kathy was of the opinion that Olivia had dumped her and the baby at the hospital, then simply went home.

As much as it pained him to not answer that phone call from his Captain, Elliot knew he had to set his wife straight. Defending Olivia now wasn't going to win him any bonus points, that was for certain, but it simply had to be done. Clearly, Kathy's memories of the day were very skewed.

"Olivia is here in the hospital, Kath. She collapsed after our son was taken into the care of the nurses. It turns out she needed surgery, too."

When Kathy didn't object further, Elliot explained the situation as best as he could. Just as he was finishing, his phone rang again. This time, he answered. Like he'd suspected, it was the Captain, informing him that Olivia was allowed to have visitors. He got her room number, then ended the call. He was about to break the news to Kathy that he needed to take a moment to go and check on his partner when the look on her face told him she already knew his intentions.

"You're going to _her_ , aren't you. Never mind the fact that I'm your wife – never mind the fact that I'm the one who gave birth today, and almost died doing it!"

Though he'd tried so hard not to be affected by the coldness of her words, this time he reacted as if he'd been slapped. Not once in her tirade had she mentioned or alluded anything about baby being his son. Trying to keep the frustration out of his voice, he leaned in to speak.

"You almost died, Kathy, because a drunk driver ran a red light and hit into the car you were riding in – an accident that very nearly killed Olivia, too. Just because I'm worried about the well being of my partner does not mean I care any less about you!"

"Just go, Elliot."

Wanting to stay and try and fix things, but knowing his window to visit Olivia was brief, Elliot turned to leave. As he was exiting the room, his kids were making their way in to see their mother. Upon seeing them, she transformed completely and became all smiles. Shaking his head in disbelief, Elliot headed to the elevators that would take him to the intensive care unit.

No matter how often he'd been on this floor as a result of the job over the years, it had never escaped his attention that it was a different world up here. So different, in fact, that it may as well be in a separate hospital. This unit was as sterile and impersonal as it got, and though Elliot knew none of the staff were guilty of the sin, it always seemed that here, the patients were just conditions, not people. The fact that he now had to reconcile with himself that this was Olivia's current residence – no matter how temporary – made him feel like he was the one who was in need of medical attention.

The nurses at the station tried to stop him, but once he showed his badge and explained why he was there, they immediately understood. He found his partner's room easily enough, just a few doors away. It brought him a small sense of comfort knowing she was so close to where the nurses were. If he couldn't be there personally to keep an eye on her himself, at least someone would.

When Elliot stepped through the open glass door into the room that held the unconscious form of his partner, his breath caught in his throat, and his heart skipped a few beats. He had assumed, based on the minimal injuries that Kathy had had, that Olivia's would be similar.

Shaking his head ruefully, he remembered the old adage about assumptions.

As he neared the bed, he saw that one entire side of Olivia's beautiful face was covered in bruises, a particularly nasty one on her right temple. Coupled with that, was a gash that had been closed by several stitches. It was obvious that both of her arms had been treated for multiple cuts, some deeper than others. Elliot vaguely remembered the Captain relating to him that Olivia had not only crawled from the wreckage, but back into it in order to get to his wife. From the looks of things, they must have had to pull several shards of glass that had been embedded in her skin.

Knowing that they'd never shared a touch beyond a pat on the back or shoulder, or the slight brush of fingers when passing coffee cups, Elliot hesitated before making his next move. Was what he was about to do too intimate? Realizing that he didn't care, and could always make an apology should Olivia wake and object, he slipped his palm under her fingers where they lay on the bed, and cradled her hand in his own. Ever so gently, he brought it up to his lips, placing a whisper soft kiss on her knuckles.

The tears were back then, the ones he'd been fighting all day. What would he have done if he'd lost her? If he'd lost any of them? Shaking his head, he tried to push the terrifying images from his mind. Kathy was going to make a full recovery. He had to remain confident that Olivia would, too. Knowing his time with her was limited, he hurried to speak the words from his heart.

"Liv, I don't know what to say to you. The words 'thank you' don't even begin to encompass the depth of my gratitude. But you have to know, if you weren't already hurt, I could strangle you myself for putting yourself at such risk! What on earth were you thinking?"

Elliot took a pause, in part because he didn't know what else to say, in part to try and gain control of his fragile emotions. What he wasn't expecting, was to receive an answer. But the next thing he heard was Olivia's voice, and though it was weak and he had to strain to hear it, his knees almost gave out on him as relief swept through his body.

"I was thinking that you needed your wife and child. You can always find another partner."

At hearing her words, his relief was short-lived. How could she be so cavalier about her own well being like that? Granted, it wasn't the first time he'd seen or heard her act that way. Several times in the past she'd alluded to him that her life was expendable because she had no family. Didn't she realize that he'd be devastated if he ever lost her?

Knowing that now wasn't the best time to talk some sense into her, and that first he had to alert the doctor that she was awake, Elliot reached for the call button by Olivia's pillow.

"I need to call your doctor, Liv. They'll want to take a look at you."

"Good. That means I can talk to them about getting the necessary forms to sign myself out of here. I want to go home."

At first, he had been impressed by her lucidity, even if she had been selling herself short. Now he was definitely doubting her comprehension regarding the seriousness of her injuries. Glancing to his left, he noticed the morphine pump by the bed, likely the cause as to why Olivia wasn't really feeling much of anything in regard to her injuries or recent surgery. He was surprised at this point she even recalled having been in an accident to begin with. Before he could question her further, a nurse appeared in the room, concerned.

"Is everything okay? Oh, Detective Benson, you're awake! How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. In fact, I'd like to go home. Can you bring me the discharge forms, please?"

The woman dressed in scrubs exchanged a look with Elliot that clearly read ' _is she serious?'_. At his nod, she turned back to address her patient.

"You can't go home, ma'am. You were seriously injured in an automobile accident today. In addition to a severe concussion, you are also recovering from major surgery. We're going to need to keep you in the hospital for a couple of days at least."

"Surgery?"

Olivia listened as the nurse explained, but Elliot couldn't help but wonder if she was fully absorbing all of the information. He made a point to commit it to memory so that he could relate it to her again if she asked him later. He was almost certain when it was just the two of them alone once more, that his partner would ask him to try and find a way to get her home.

After the nurse left, and it was just the two of them again, Elliot took his place by Olivia's bedside once more. Not thinking anything of it, he picked her hand up again, holding on tight. Hearing the details again of everything she had endured – how easily it could have gone wrong – had him once again feeling so grateful that she was still by his side.

"Elliot? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're here and all, but shouldn't you be with Kathy and the baby? They're okay, aren't they? Please tell me they're okay."

As she spoke, Olivia became increasingly more agitated. The monitor above her bed keeping track of her heart rate began to beep faster as she struggled to sit up. When she reached for the oxygen cannula that sat just under her nose to pull it away, Elliot caught her hand, stilling it.

"Easy, Liv. They're fine, I promise you. The kids are with Kathy right now. I'll be going back to see her and the baby again soon, I just needed to check in on you."

"But, why?"

He decided then and there that hitting her head must have caused more damage than he originally thought. While it was very much like Olivia to diminish her own well being, he never would have thought she would have doubted that he cared for her. Unless - did she believe that he blamed her for the accident? Could it be that she was lying here waiting for him to yell at her for endangering his wife and child?

Since there was no chair available, he perched on the edge of the mattress, directly by Olivia's hip. Bringing their joined hands up to his chest, he placed her palm directly over his heart, clasping it there. With his other hand, he reached out, and crooked his finger under her chin, gently lifting her face to meet his gaze.

"Olivia Benson, I want you to listen to me. I do not blame you for what happened today. None of this was your fault. At great risk to yourself, you refused treatment and went back in that car to take care of Kathy. You kept my son safe until he got to the hospital. I owe you everything, Liv."

He was becoming choked up and emotional again, but didn't bother trying to control himself. If ever there was a moment, now was the time to lay all his cards on the table and stop hiding what he felt.

* * *

They never got to finish having that particular conversation. Elliot couldn't really find himself angry about that fact, though, because it was for a very good reason. Olivia's doctor was now in the room with her, and that was what was more important. Just before leaving, he'd told her he was going back downstairs to check on Kathy, but that he'd be back to see her later. He didn't miss the look in her eyes that told him she didn't quite believe him.

When he opened the door to his wife's room, he was pleased to see that she was sitting up in bed, cradling their son in her arms. The kids were nowhere to be seen, but Kathy quickly explained that they had gone down to the cafeteria for a bite to eat. She gestured to the chair next to her, saying that she wanted to talk. Taking a seat next to the bed, Elliot felt dread settle into his heart. He had a very distinct feeling he wasn't going to like where this conversation was going to lead.

"Elliot, answer me something, and be honest. Would you have come back home if I hadn't asked you to? If I hadn't come to the station that day and told you I was pregnant?"

He couldn't believe this. Now was not the time or place to be having this discussion, but here there were, having it. Elliot realized that Kathy expected honesty from him right now, so he told her the truth.

"No. I had already accepted that we were going to divorce. I still loved you – I always will, but I had accepted that our marriage was over, and was ready to move on with my life."

Kathy gave him a sad smile, and it seemed the myriad of emotions that she'd been experiencing earlier had left her. In its wake, she was completely calm.

"So had I. I suppose I just got scared, and wanted to return to what was familiar. I should have known that you never would have turned your back on me or our child, even if we're no longer together."

His mouth was dry again, and his heart was palpitating in his chest. Just how many times was the floor going to drop out from under him today? Still, as anxious as he was, there was an air of relief about the impending words he was about to hear, even though he hated himself for thinking it.

"I've already called my mother. She's going to come to the house for awhile, help me take care of the baby. Of course, you are welcome to stay as long as you need to."

"What are you saying, Kathy?"

She reached for his hand then, still holding their child close to her chest. With a sincere look in her eyes, she explained.

"I'm saying we should do what we should have done a long time ago. Let the papers go through, and raise this baby together – but separately. He deserves to grow up in a home where his parents aren't always fighting."

"You know I'll do whatever I can."

They embraced then, both of them crying. A few seconds later, they pulled apart with a laugh as the baby made a soft sound of protest between them. Turning his attention back to his son, Elliot addressed his now soon to be ex wife once again.

"As for this little man, I do believe he needs a name. Do you have any ideas?"

"Actually, despite all my anger earlier, I'd love to name him after you."

He pressed a kiss to her forehead, asking without words if he could hold the infant. When she passed the baby into his father's arms, Elliot cradled him close. He thought about what Kathy had just said, and everything that had transpired that day. It would mean the world to him for this child to share his name, but all he could think about was that there was someone else in this hospital more deserving of the honor.

"I was thinking we should name him after Olivia. Since she's the reason I still have both of you."

Kathy sobered as she remembered just how harsh she had been earlier in regard to the other woman. Her memories from the accident were vague, but she could clearly recall that Olivia had never once left her side. To think that she had been injured the entire time, and never once gave any thought to her own well being. It only confirmed what she already knew – Olivia Benson was in love with her husband. But it was a love so selfless and true, that she never had to worry. Now that they were finally going through with the divorce, it was time to set Elliot free. Kathy knew he cared about Olivia too. Maybe one day they'd both realize how much they meant to one another.

"How bad was she hurt, really?"

"It appears that she might have made a turn for the better already. While I was visiting her, she woke up. In fact, she has already asked to go home – although I don't think she fully understands what she's been through."

Kathy quietly listened to what Elliot was telling her, then nodded her head. Reaching her arms out to accept her son once more, she gestured with her head toward the door.

"Then I guess you'd better go back upstairs and check on her again. After all, you'll have to tell her she needs to get better. Her Godson Elliot Oliver Stabler is going to need her in his life."

He parroted the name back to her, unsure that he'd heard correctly. Elliot was also in shock of the title that Kathy had bestowed on his partner, though he couldn't be more pleased. He couldn't wait to go back up and tell Olivia the news, though he had a feeling she wouldn't see herself as worthy. Giving Kathy a quick kiss on the cheek, he made a dash for the door.

"Oh, and Elliot?"

He paused, and turned back to the woman in the bed, waiting to see what else she had to say.

"If I learned anything from today, it's that time is precious. Don't waste any more of it. Tell her how you feel."

* * *

Kathy's parting words were echoing in Elliot's brain as he took the elevator ride up to the floor where the intensive care unit was housed. Had she really said that? ' _Tell her how you feel_ ' There hadn't been any hint of accusation in her tone, if anything, there was encouragement and acceptance. That made him wonder – what exactly did he feel?

When he reached Olivia's room, he was surprised to find her bed positioned semi upright, but pleased that she was still awake. Then, the thought occurred to him that they might not be wanting her to sleep if it could be helped on account of her head injury. Knowing that had to be difficult after what she'd been through, especially with the medication she was on, he vowed he would stay as long as possible to keep her company.

Once Olivia noticed him, she smiled at first to acknowledge his presence, then frowned shortly after. It broke Elliot's heart that she couldn't even allow herself to be happy for a moment that he was there to see her, she was already worried that he should be somewhere else.

"Before you say anything, Liv, I want it known that Kathy sent me up here. Even if she hadn't, I was coming to see you again, anyway."

"How is she doing? How's the baby?"

Elliot took a seat in the chair next to Olivia's bed that he guessed must have been placed there for his convenience. Just as he had done when he was in the room before, he took her hand in his own, and brought it to his lips.

"They're both fine, Liv. In fact, I came here to tell you that your Godson has name."

"He does? Wait, my what?"

Reaching out with his free hand, he brushed her hair off her forehead, careful not to touch any of the bruises on her face. Regarding her with a tender expression, he asked her what would amount to one of the most important questions to date, and prayed that she would say yes.

"Olivia, I would be honored if you would be my son's Godmother. You've already proven that you would quite literally give your life to defend him – it's why we've given him Oliver as his middle name. Will you continue to watch over him as he grows?"

"Yes."

Her voice was barely a whisper, but he heard her loud and clear. Through with fighting his emotions, Elliot leaned forward and enveloped his partner in his arms. He was mindful of her injuries, and kept his hold gentle, but couldn't go without holding her a minute longer. Had she been in the emergency room when he'd first arrived earlier today, he'd have swept her up in an embrace as soon as he saw her.

Taking the gesture of affection a step further, he turned his head to the side and brushed a tender kiss to Olivia's cheek. He didn't miss the taste of saline on his lips, a clear sign that she was crying.

"Liv, what is it?"

"Am I dreaming?"

He pulled back only slightly, concern and confusion written on his face. What did she mean? Did she not understand what he had just asked her?

"What do you mean, honey?"

It escaped his notice that he had called her by a term of endearment, but Olivia had picked up on it right away. It only added to her anguish. This had to be some sort of dream, it was the only explanation. Either that or she had died, and this was heaven's version of Elliot she was being presented with. One in which he cared about her as much as he did Kathy.

"Unless I'm mistaken, you just kissed my cheek. You weren't just hugging me, you were holding me. You've never done that before."

"I've also never come this close to losing you before. Well, I have, only I was too much of an idiot to admit how I felt then. No more, Liv."

"What are you saying? You're married."

Elliot sighed. He hadn't intended for the conversation to get this serious or this deep. But Olivia's questions couldn't be ignored. He only hoped she would believe his sincerity. Best to tread carefully and not overwhelm her.

"The accident changed a lot of things, today, Olivia. It made Kathy realize that the only reason she asked me to come home was because she was scared of raising the baby alone. Before that, we were both ready to accept the divorce and move on."

"But -"

He pressed his fingers to her lips to silence her, then continued.

"We're still going to be two committed parents, determined to give our child the best life possible. We're just not going to be living together. We've decided our son deserves a home where his parents aren't fighting."

He licked his lips, then went for broke.

"When we were on the phone this morning, I hadn't quite hung up before that car hit yours. I heard everything. I've never been so scared before in my life. From that moment, up until I spoke to Kathy when the medics were working on her in the car, I was terrified that I had lost all of you."

"You were worried that you had lost me?"

Now, he was getting exasperated.

"Yes! Dammit, Liv! Will you never stop selling yourself short?"

"Give me one good reason."

He wasn't even aware he had raised his voice, he was so desperate to get the next words out.

"Because I love you!"

Several agonizing moments followed in silence after his outburst. Neither of them spoke, they just simply stared at one another. Finally, a smile broke across Olivia's face as the words seemed to sink in and make sense. Though she was cautioning herself to question everything, she knew his admission had been truthful. She also knew it didn't change the love he had for Kathy – that would always be there – and she wouldn't have it any other way. But the fact that Elliot Stabler loved her, too, made her heart sing. For the first time in her life, she found herself wanting to say the words back.

"I love you, too."

If they were a normal or conventional pair, they would have sealed their mutual confession with a kiss. But now was not the time. Not only was Olivia still in Intensive Care, but Elliot had only mutually agreed upon going through with a divorce from his wife less than an hour ago. Soon, though, they would have their chance. In the meantime, Olivia had a question that needed answered. It had to do with something else she was having difficulty wrapping her head around.

"So, this Godson of mine whose middle name is taken from my own, does he by chance have a first name?"

Elliot grinned, pleased that she had asked. He'd almost forgotten about that.

"He does. _Kathy wants to name him after me_."

Olivia raised an eyebrow, then gave him a knowing smirk. Before he could even ask what was on his mind, she replied.

" _Just what the world needs, another Elliot Stabler._ "


End file.
